Makes you think, doesn't it?

Monday, November 26, 2007


Hey. 39 days and counting. realized it'd been a while. i was putting on a dogster banner of kacey, which didn't stick. I'm writing a book, about a woman named deirdre, in the fuure, who's lover is wrongfully accused of murder, and is locked up. Deirdre breaks in and rescues him, and thryre gonna make a new life in the wild, away from the corrupt civil warmongers of the future government. it sound cheesy, and it is, but oh well. its fun. and it passes the time. i worked all thanksgiving week, earning extra money. and i lost 2 paychecks worth 400 dollars total. fun. ciao bella!

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

late night randomata

hey. cant stay long, pushing daisies is on. just wanted to say- 50 DAYS TIL CHATHAM!!! SLIGHTLY LESS THAT 7 WEEKS!!! yahoooooo!!!!!!!! oh, man. i stillc ant quite get my head around it. me! ME!! ME!!! a chatham woman! agh! woooohooooo!!! okay, thats all. im done for now.

Sunday, November 11, 2007


Beauty. Jon Fratelli. Agh, my brain is a burnt fuse. And my heart is the match.

I just listened to the cd again today. oh god, he is so beautiful. the music makes my heart hurt and my soul feel like jetsam in a tsunami. oh god i am so in love with him. my heart is so big with love for him i can barely hold it in. i love you. you are so beautiful, Jon.

part of me knows this is just how i am, i fall in and out and in again of love like going through kleenex. but the rest of me thinks of it as blasphemy to dismiss this feeling, this...overwhelmed-ness with love as just a thing i do when i see a guy i like. i dont know anymore. all i know is i love him, and to savor it while i have it. Goddess hold my heart gently.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Sam and Lucky: The Apocalypse.

I finally got home early from school, alto not early enuf cuz i missed my stop. by like 3 miles. but i got back around quarter to 4, just in time to catch some general hospital. they hinted that in the next episode, Lucky was gonna come to Sam's with flowers! and just the look on her face was enough to put me over the edge. they actually mean to put Sam and Lucky together?? Sam and Lucky??? TOGETHER?!?!? SAM and... Lucky....??? needless to say, i'll have a bruise on my chin for a week, it hit the floor so hard. a shameful number of obscenities flew from my mouth. Sam and Lucky. I still cant wrap my head around it. how dumb that show has gotten since i left. haha. that sounded wrong.
but ooh, i got straight a's on my midterms and probably in my classes too, but my english grade isnt out yet, cause my prof is out with pneumonia. i did something in school that i cant connect myself with online in case i'm identified, but it was very fun and made me feel nice. well, one did. the other was in a fit of depresion and just made me feel lousy. oh yeah, i'm depressed now. no signups for PP or Team Cohutta? Im dissapointed. well, ive got better things to do. lol. smell ya later.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Living La VIda College

Midterm Week Sucks. My hair is falling out, i swear to god. i have been soo depressed lately, i dont know if its because of the stress, or forgetting my pills, or just all around im-not-acheiving-my-goals-and-becoming-who-i-want-to-be crap. But man was i in a funk friday. oh-DUH! i cant believe i didnt even mention:
I GOT A TATTOO!!! its really cute, its a pentagram with a crescent moon sort of weaved thru it on the left side. so its almost, but not quite, a pentacle. its really good, too. the guys's name is Cantu. Angry Moon Tattoo, on the South Side, Pittsburgh, PA. Go there, they rock! it felt really weird, like someone was cutting me with a utility knife. and its still so sore when i rub it with the ointment or to wash it off. haha, my skin was so pink! it was fun. after, we went to this awesome place, called Slacker. its a store, but its got like, all genres of stuff. like punk stuff, vintage bunny sweaters (lol), punk cuffs, vintage buttons and keyrings... i even saw a display case with black leather ankle straps and other sado-masochistic tools of trade. then we went to a place i cant remember and i got this really good french bread pizza. yum! then i went home and remembered i have 2 more midterms on monday. :( but yeah. theres my weekend. Inked on saturday, on academic house arrest sunday. Living la vida college.

Saturday, October 6, 2007

Team Cohutta, Pittsburghers For Peta- JOIN UP!

Ya like my 2 new clubs i'm thinking of starting? One is for Real World Sydney-er Cohutta, the only sane person in the house (except maybe for Parisa, but she's such a hypocrite for making out with Alex) I like it when he's laying on the hammock and hears them yelling and goes, "That's what happens when you ask someone how pretty you are. [I] never get involved in stuff like that. Bad stuff will happen." Then he hears glass breaking, and he goes, "See? Like that." That made me smile. So, if you want to join Team Cohutta cause you love him, email me!

Pittsburghers for PETA is another club of mine i'm thinking of starting. Everybody i know anound campus is utterly humane-ignorant. I want to get the word out among college students around here that there is alternatives to fur, meat, leather, animal circuses, etc. This idea is really close to my heart, so go to,,, etc. and pleeeaaase join! email me at for either club! One is exciting, happy, and all things pro- Cohutta. The other is about getting the word out about animal cruelty. SO SIGN UP!!!

The base for both clubs will be my website here until they take off, then they'l have their own branches. Feel free to leave comments or questions, or email me with anything. Please join!

Monday, October 1, 2007

Art History made me a coffee whore

I'm in art history class. learning about triumphal arches. tee hee. i'm allegedly taking notes. so freaking bored. i actually tok a nap outside in the hallway waiting for class to start. my mum and i are completely moved into the house, and this is my second week busing in from home. theres a tiny problem with the buses, cuz theres 2 routes both called 38c, but i just have to make sure i ask b4 i get on which one it is. no biggie. i swear to god, if he doesnt stop droning ill kill myself. he's not all that bad, but i hate rome, so i cant stand when ppl drone on and on about the merits of those merciless godless killers. Speaking of killing myself, have you heard that awful (even for the b52's, which is really saying something) song called Keiche Lorraine? god. i was at work when it came on, and it took all my self control not to rip out my eardrums with a fork. gr. stupid wyep. nice hosts, but that music is responsible for the suicide rates in this state, i swear it. hm. oh, dusty has learned how to sneak out between the bars of his cage. we have to keep a lid from one of the boxes we used to pack over his cage. sneaky little bastard. :) i love my little mouse. school is actually not bad, even tho i require coffee to function. thank you sooo much, work. at least the stuff mark makes (my boss) at work is real coffee. i have to drink vending machine coffee. its actually not bad, but i'll take any chance i can get to gripe. :) i'm just incensed that work and school has made me utterly dependent on coffee. Speaking of incenced, i did a sage incense house blessing last week. the house smelled soo good. Yummy positive energy! gotta go, it looks like im missing some important stuff. boo hoo.

Monday, September 17, 2007


Hey. sorry i havent written in so long. i'm at school right now. man i love this clicky, loud-ass keyboard. :) work sucks, school is passably...well ,you know. passable. These really annoying new girls have been playing hooky and getting away with it, in addition to trying to pass off their duties onto me. grrr. i was really hoping they'd get fired. Oh, and I did give Jeremy my number, and he hasnt called me back. so now, for the silver lining, i get to blast his ass on my blog. his name is Jeremy McKnight. He's from ohio. and he DOESNT FUCKING CALL GIRLS BACK when they go out on an extrememly obviously uncomfortable limb to let him know they like him. grrr. whatever. ya live ya learn. hm, what else. ooh, dammit, i keep meaning to send that chatham depostit in. ooh, duh- we got a new place to live! its in carnegie, pittsburhg, PA, USA. in case anyone needed that clarified. its a cute little half of a 2-floor duplex. its got a nice fenced in yard and stuff. the only downsides are, no garage, which makes my mom practically cry. and, as i just noticed on our last visit to take measurements, no dishwasher. which makes me cry. so now, for our last week at the house, the dishwasher is functioning purely as a "dish-dryer". loads of effing fun. ah, well, three months is no big deal. it seems like it, but then when you loook at how long i've lived in other places,(no less that 3 years), its like, whoa. that's no time at all! eek!
* sigh, rattles fingertips on keyboard futilely.* lets see, on the music front since we've last touched font... (heehee)...did i still love the fratellis when i last posted here? i hope it wasnt that long ago. this stupid asshole next to me is playing disgusting gangsta shit. makes me wanna fucking not today. no negative shit today while Dusty's sick. i woke up this morning and i noticed he was still asleep. i picked him up before i left to make sure he was okay, and he didnt move except to crawl onto my hand. and he didnt take any jam, his favorite treat! that's when i started crying. i put some jam on a peice of chex and put it by him, along with a sock that smells like me, so he'll feel comfortable. i said a couple chants for him, even calling upon Damona, but i cant do anything more til i get home and can light some candles and do more. i've been so nervous all day. i cant wait to goet home to him and see how he's been. okay, new topic. still vegetarian. my mom browned turkey for spaghetti yesterday, and she puts these awesome smelling herbs on it, and i was like, "......aannnggghhhhh...." lol. oh. um, i lost my art hist book, book a new one, and found my old one. gotta love that. i'll get back 2 ya when Dusty's all better. poor brave soul.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

The Truth About Rome and Gaul

Okay. let me just clear something up. the druids were NOT not not priests! the roman definition for priest says that the priest is the only one with a direct connection with god, and that without the preists, your soul would be in danger because there's no one to plead your case with god, if you will. but to the druids, the gods were easily accessible to everyone. you didn't need the druids to ensure the safety of your soul. the druids were the keepers of ancient knowledge and wisdom, as well as the law. The druids worked in tandem with the earth to heal and nurture, to keep the balance between what is taken from the earth and making sure that it is given back to her. They may have sacrificed, but only to protect what was most dear to them: their families, societies, relatives fighting wars, etc. for the betterment of all. Like i said, the balance must be kept. if you want something to happen for you, you must give something in return. the druids knew this. In today's society, where we think we can get anything for free, we think of sacrifice and we say, oh, barbaric. well back then, they took what they knew, and applied it to make good things happen for them, such as a good harvest, or winning a war. The celts and gauls lived in harmany with nature, protecting and respecting and nurturing it, making sure it was treated well. I only wish we could say the same today.
Also, let it be known that Rome and all that it stood for in that era was pure and simple evil incarnate. they spread vicious lies about the celts being barbarian so that no one could blame them for crushing the innocent, nature-revering gauls beneath the merciless roman heel. and what makes it even worse is that the gauls didnt believe in a system of writing things down, so no one could stand up for them and tell the truth after they're gone. rome was a body of filthy, ice-cold cowards who prided themselves on their military precision and ability to completely obliterate anything and everything in their path. Stone cold dead, right down to the soul they were, the whole lot of them. and Caesar. Oh hell. that cold, heartless, merciless, control freak monster. he just had to have everything, and he could just barely kill things and steal their wealth fast enought to keep up with his voracious appetite for richness and excess. think of all the lives that man thoughtlessly cut down so that he could sleep on nice furs and wear pretty rings. entire societies, countries bathed in blood. Someone has to spread the truth. Someone has to speak for the Gauls.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Ugh. Not feeling v. good. the day started out so good...actually the whole day was good. i actually spoke aloud of my own accord during class today, attributing to discussion. yay me!! and i had a nice, good-for-me lunch instead of proccessed vending machine-crap cuz all i had was a 5. probably about 2 or 3 strawberries in there between the jam on my bagel and the fruit-on-the bottom yogurt. but i caught a bus downtown today cause today was gonna be the day i slip jeremy my number. hot barista of my dreams, rem? well, not only did i not slip him my number (because he was leaving the same time as me and there was no way) but mosquitos could have spawned in the silence that hung between us. i tried to get into a deep conversation like we had at first, but he never carried it very far, and i couldnt think of anything to say. So now... i dont know. the fact that i stayed there for an hour til he left for the day makes me think that i'm being too needy and clingy, even tho i just got back there regularly 2 weeks ago. my mom sez i should let it go, just forget about him, but i cant do that! he likes me, he just wont...try anything. chasing someone you like is supposed to be romantic, i just didn't think i'd be the one doing the chasing. Next time i see him, if thinkgs get better, i'll give him my number, if they dont, i'll just come out with it, gove him my number, and leave. whatever happens, i'll have made a move, and whatever happens happens. augh! is it always this stupid, hard, complicated messy stupid?!? now i feel like shit even tho i had a great day! And on top of that, i have to go to work tomorrow! bloody brilliant! now ive got a short fucking temper, and i'm not happy. Well, as Leslie Feist says, there's nowhere to go but on.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Adopt a Wolf! Its the most fun you'll have all week!

I adopted a wolf! it was only 25 bucks! i get emails from wildlife protection places, and there was a link to it. at first i was torn- adopt a wold or donate to help fight the extinction of snow leopards. i think i did the right thing. i'm feelin a bit guilty for the leopards, but... aack! i'm so happy! you shoud go on peta 2 and do some research. it'll really open your eyes. So in a couple of days or weeks or whatever, i'll get a certificate and a cute little plushy wolf dude. so happy! i love it when i do something good for animals. especially after a day like this. i left early from work, cause i had...unspecified problemage...that left me pretty low on self esteem. i took a long, loo-ooing cold shower, and then was like, why dont i check my email? and look at me now, a proud wolf mama!
Work's been tough lately. getting pretty low. i almost cried yesterday casue i couldnt take it. i felt like i was dying. but i got thru it. tomorrow's payday, my last big paycheck. then, next week, school starts! my last semester at ghetto U. ta-bloody-da. well, i'm freaking hungry and i still have blogs to check. smell ya laer.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Adventures in a one-track mind

My latest obsessions: Ike Riley Assassination, The Kooks. I almost fazed out on them for a while, but the radio at my work keeps me on my one-track-minded toes. School's next week. I had a really good session with Kathleen yesterday, and talked to Jeremy again. i think i'm gonna slip him my number, something which i strongly doubt i am suave enough to pull off. But i hated how stagnant and boring our interactions were becoming, and damn it, i want him! so, for once in my life, i'm gonna go get the damn guy. So there.
Hm. What else. i swear to god i'm gonna kill the kid that works with me, aaron something. little-no. no slander. not only does he constantly mix up the numbers i need, like 30 forks of one kind and 70 of another, but he spreads them over like 5 racks by putting like 2 pcs of flatware in each cup, that could easily fit 20. aagh! ever since tom left, this job has been so much slower and i seem to have more time and less things to fill it with. although, that could just be the season. *wistful sigh* cant stop thinking about him. not aaron, ew. jeremy. can you imagine if he actually calls me? ack, i cant even think about it. i blabber like a bloody idiot. The poor man's gonna be like, oh, my god, this girl is out. of. her. tree! Oh, bloody hell. i get so tired of...stuff. my life as it stands.
I'm thinking of getting my hair dyed. darkish brown with pink streaks. oh, duh! i went canoeing with some of my mom's friends at hazelbaker's sunday. Super fun, even tho at first, i was like MOMMY! cause she was in a dift canoe and i was the one in charge of my canoe and i had not a blessed clue what i was doing. agh. 4 more days and then i get paid and am down to 3 days a week! i cant wait!

Monday, August 6, 2007

Tired and Whiny and Cranky oh my!

Ya like the new banner? go peta! just wanted to post while i was on here putting on the banner. vegetarianism going well, just wish i could do more. were getting our ducks in a row where student loans and such are concerned. my mom thinks i should be all excited, but im like, oh gee, the prospect of having to pay 200 bucks a month til i'm 30 really perks me up! oy. i recently had a disillusionment breakthru, and wrote 2 poems about it. i might post them later. i finally realized, for the last time, that wishes really do not come true, no matter what. you can wish til your blue in the face, and you will have done absolutely nothing. or as i phrase it in "Save Yourself the Pain", "what is for you will not pass by you,/all the rest is just grasping at smoke". i rather like that line. O'course, i feel better about this than might most, seeing as i have wicca to fall back on.
This job is really making me tired and whiny and cranky. er than usual. :) i feel like i'm wasting my last summer at home, which i guess it isnt really, but its my last summer b4 chatham, so it feels like it'll be my last summer at home. nice money tho. really nice money. :) the a/c in this place is on drugs. its set to 78, but it wont kick on, even tho its 85 in here. agh! talk about heat stroke! oh, did i post about my bday? i'm sure i did. I'm really bummed that bcuz of the new feasting on asphalt, Good Eats is only on at 11 pm now. i'm gettin the shakes man, i needs me some Alton! well, okay, some clean-shaven, motorcycle-free Alton. Ugh, i gotta get off this computer b4 i go mental. see yall.

Monday, July 30, 2007

Playing ketchup

Sorry, dudes. I know how infuriating this sounds coming out of Joriel's keyboard, but i've just either been too busy or just didn't damn feel like posting in forever! my birfday was awesome, i almost puked cherry vodka, grenadine and triple sec all over the the dance floor during the social distortion concert. I didn't even know they made cherry vodka. Ya learn someting new every day. Sandcastle kicked ass. and i didn't even wipe out once! go me! Yet somehow, i always seem to get stuck under the waterfall in the lazy river. Like, every. time. My job has been going pretty good, i got ten hours of overtime one week, so my paycheck was pretty beefy. i have off mondays, which is why i am typing this now. I'm thinking about getting my hair dyed dark brown with chunky pink streaks. gahd, i can't type today. its gonna look so cool! my poor gram tho. she has 3 grandkids, one with a tattoo, one with a mohawk, and one who wants pink hair! haha. lets see...what else. oh, my god, did you read the new Harry Potter? i finished it already!!! it is sooo good! SPOILER ALERT!!! I can't believe Tonks and Lupin died!!! That filthy Rowling murderess! My favorite charachters! and just after they'd had little Teddy! oh, they were gonna be so happy! i cried. like, tears, running down my face. okay, SPOILER OVER!!! vegetarianism's been going well. i tried to go vegan, but that'll hafta wait for another try after college. as will, probably, Frankie (or Fiona) and my male parakeet as yet unnamed. I keep meaning to ask my transfer advisor about that. I'm about to beat up my keyboard, ic an't type. school starts in 3 weeks! yay, school shopping! i would move into office max if i could. i ask my mom since Chatham's giving me a laptop for college, she should get me a pda, since theyre cheaper and doesnt she wanna send me a away for this momentous occaision with something nice. she said i had between a 2 and 50% chance of getting one. i dunno, well see. god, it gets soo hot up in hurr! i'm melting! kay well, smell ya later.

Friday, July 13, 2007

Of Mice and Filched Men, and other stories.

So much to say, fingers so slow. Matt, the hot guy from my job that i like, now works in the warehouse, so i hardly ever see him, there goes the slim chance that relationship had for growth. My miserable dickhead boss put him there, just like Brain, whom he shipped off to the warehouse cause they got in a little tizzy. never mind the warehouse has enough people and the kitchen is seriously strapped. His ego takes precedence over the needs of the business, and then he preaches to me about how hard it is to run a business with losers like he employs. Miserable bastard. I hate him. steal my only friend and then my hot muscle-shirt wearing nice guy. Why cant you just get along with people? Or even just pretend to coexist peacefully? why do you have to use your power to exert force and neanderthal-like, club-weilding dominance over everyone you work over? Miserable jerk. I think i called him a monkeyfucker. :D in my head of course. but i wanted to crack his skull like a fricking coconut. And then he says shit to me like, I'm really not that bad. some people just push my buttons. yeah, i believe the term for them is homo fucking sapiens, jackass. Whew. Glad i got that off my chest. Lets see, what else? ooh, i went to my first vegan shopping trip today! 33.58, i think was the final tally. My mum was supp'd to stay home and watch Pan's Labyrinth with me, but she welched out on me. The irony is not lost on me. My own mother ditching me. It's so sad. See why i need you, Matt? I need someone to feel okay about being ditched with. By my mother, no less. But the shopping trip was soo fun. I bot mac 'n' soy cheese, soy milk, facon, more of those delish morningstar chik'n patties (yum!!), a Naked (brand) Red Machine, a bottle of truly rank acai juice. expensive, but yum. and ooh, also, i finally found Tom's of Maine and Kiss My Face brands, like toothpaste and soap and stuff. they dont test on animals. i had resigned myself to shopping exclusive and Bath n Body Works cuz i couldnt find them. Yay!!! one small step for vegankind, one giant leap for little old me!! i turn 21 in 7 days!! Social D concert this thursday!!!! you should've seen me when my mum was telling me about the place, and that the tix were still on sale. a casual bystander would've thought i was being tortured to death by being forced to hold my pee. :) (sidebar: do i abuse the emoticons? i heard some people find this annoying. sidebar in the sidebar: please email me if you read this blog, i'd really like to know your thots. ) Well, i theenk that's your lot. (Sorry for the obscure Labyrinth reference.)

Saturday, July 7, 2007

Some happy announcements!

Hm. Well, the job's going well. just got my first paycheck, 152-something. we ujst closed my checking accounts cause i didn't have any money, and it'll take til tuesday morning for my money to show up. So... ***starting Tuesday morning, im VEGAN!!!*** completely animal-product free. and i'm gonna buy all my bath n body products from Bath & Body Works, cause they don't test on animals. More expensive, but worth it. I get so excited imagining me waking up at Chatham and having scrambled egg replacer with soy cheese and facon on the side!! Ackk! can you imagine!! yum yum yum!! Whew. Well, lets see, what else is new. Oh, did you know Chatham is haunted? exciting! Supposedly Mellon Hall is a big psychic hotspot. I saw it on YouTube. (that really enhances its credibility. ;) )
On another note, I havent seen uncle Tim yet, but things seem fine with my uncle mark, one of the people i had a problem with in my ranting "jackasses" post. Im more worried about Unle Tim tho, cause the man is...welll... he's an ass. He follows the school of thot where, Im the man and you all must do what i say, now go cook and clean for me. But he applies that rule to everything. He just makes the rules and says what he says and that is that and don't you dare contradict him. What a mess. But I suppose we'll see in a couple of weeks. ooohh... i almost forgot... I TURN 21 IN 13 DAYS!!! WOO HOOO! Social D concert Thursday, then Sandcastle on my birthday!! WOO HOOO!! can you say blue toobalooba til my head spins, then cocktails on the lazy river?!? WOO HOOO!

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Happy July 4th!

Yay, that day is come about again, t-minus 16 days til my birthday. oh, yeah, and that day when our corrupt, lovely little goverment was born. ah, well. my mom's watching this thing on the history channel, but its on commercial, one of those Billy Mays crap things. i can't think straight. maybe i schoud've chosen a more opportune time to do this. well, i'm wearing my one and only patiotic shirt, its a little semi-transparent thing with an eagle on the front, looks like the fornt of a silver dollar. we just got back from the grocery store, and now were whiling away the time til we go to moon for the fireworks. last year we went on my mom's friends boat, but its sposta rain today, so she's not taking the boat out. my dog hates the fireworks, so were not takin her. whole lot better leavin her at home, cowering under the bed. not. my job is going well. we just got back from vacay yesterday. i talked about us going on vacay to Allegany St. Park in New York, rite? well, the campsite was cramped, tiny, all-around pitiful. my mom laughed out loud when she saw the "crick"-it was barely a wading pool. i didn't see a single salamander, just these funky little crawly bug things. but we went to this place called Thunder Rocks, and climbed a bunch of huge rocks. then later, at the Bear Caves, poised for a supercool shot, we discovered the camera had died. aarrgghh! It seemed like Murphy's vacation. :) But it was fun. glad to be back, and so is Kacey. we got her outside my gram's house just in time for her excited piddles to start. it was soo funny. (sidebar: God, this documentary is sooo annoying!!) Anyways, so. that was all. just wanted to say happy Dia del Independencia. t-minus 16 days til i can (legally) drink! Go 21st birthday!!!

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Ignorant hurtful beligerent jackasses run in the family

dammit i dont understand why it is so damn hard for people to just accept the way i am instead of having to belittle it and rub it in my face that meat is there and that they dont care what happens to [poor defenseless animals. admittedly, i may push it too far from ktime to time, but i'm passionate about vegetarianism and animal cruelty, and theres no reason to use this information to hurt me. Telling nasty stories and laughing about the inhumane slaughter to defenseless animals right in front of me, knowing how i feel about this, and then laughing when i get upset is not something a normal person would do. letalone say nasty comments belittling how silly and stupid my beliefs are. i dont care if you don't share my beliefs, but the least you can do is pretend you don't think they're ridiculous and stupid and not even worth pretending they matter to anyone. i donnt want to be estranged from my family, but if they refuse to let me be happy by at least pretending they suport me, i'm going to have to. i will be happy, with them or without them. the decision is entirely up to them. Goddess i wish it didn't have to be this way.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

new job, old quote, puppy love??

Not sure where i left of here last. its been a bit busy around here. got a job tuesday, yesterday was my first day. i clean silverware at this party rental place. its not bad. nicer boss, .50c more an hour. its kind of boring and monotonous. and i really need an ergonomic desk chair. my back kills. the bird...i told you about the bird, right? the flasklight rig failed, i buried it yesterday. bawled like a baby. *quote alert* a hungry angry baby. That's from serenity. I heart Mal and Jayne!! Haha.. Jayne's the peice of ass, Mal's the brains... any firefly-heads will get that. and be nodding in drool-covered empathy. ;) so... i'm 120 bucks richer, for cleaning a couple thousand pcs of flatware. i might not be able to post very often anymore. maybe on sundays. i'm sure my vast adoring audience is just crushed. ;) i think im neglecting my poor mouse. I feed him and all, but... i don't know. i feel bad. he is just the cutest little thing. I love him so much more than i let him know. you know? poor Kacey's conked out. i'm gonna go get me a little peice of puppy love. or, in my case, puppy groan-and-roll-away-unhappily. ah, c'est la vie.

Monday, June 25, 2007

Well, i always said i wanted a bird...

So last weekend, i found this ginormous birds nest in my grill. and like an idiot, i called my mom, who told me to open it, hoping the birds hadn't laid eggs. and, like an idiot, i did, after a few weak protests. Well, the birds never came back. i think it was a finch tho. so later the next day (we are huge procrastinators in this family) after my mom threatened to do it herself, which i knew whould result in careless destruction of a poor little finch's hard work (the nest was almost a foot long!!), i did it myself, and found, guess what, an egg. so cut to now, where in my room there is a bit of bird nest sitting on my desk with a little white, brown-speckled egg in it, with a bulb of my medusa lamp pointed down above it. i leave the lamp on all day, and i have a pathetic flashlight rigged up to a hook in my ceiling for when i have to turn off the lamp to sleep. I emailed some people i found online, and i'm gonna do a lot of spells to help give the por thing a chance a life. i looked up some websites on how to raise a baby bird. I just feel so awful!! its my fault this poor bird's parents never came back for it, and if it dies, its all on me! does anyone know how many hours 1,420 minutes is? that's how often it needs to be fed. it said that raw meat is best for hatchlings. i hope turkeyburger doesn't make the poor thing sick. agghh! but now, i guess all there is to do is wait 2 weeks until it hatches. and do a lot of spells. i'll report back on what i try. wish me luck! oh, that reminds me. i looked for, and found, a four leaf clover in my yard, which i put next to the egg in the nest. i made a point or deflecting the luck off me, putting all of it into the egg. Goddess, i hope it lives.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Mother Kali

Oy yoy. just got off the phone with my mum. my endocrenologist's assistant is about a million years old and has the memory of a amnesiac goldfish. she forgot to give us paperwork for bloodwork, and now she called and said, oh, did you get that bloodwork done? um, no. whatever. anyway. i was online a couple days ago and something about the goddess Kali stuck me, and i wrote it down to look it up later. yesterday, i loked her up, and you know when you come across something that just strikes the right chord in you right down to your soul? that's what she felt like to me. most people see Kali as this horrible, death-weilding merciless killer woman, but what they dont realize is all life is made possible through her. without Kali there to end life of things whos time has come, there would be no room for new growth, and change. both the psychic and physical worlds wouldd be drowning in the past if Kali werent there to make room for the new things. I think its also very unabashing, brave and noble to revel in the dark part of the process. it shows true knowledge. you may think she's evil, but without her, their would be no use for the fluffy, nice gods and godesses. That in and of itself makes her a good goddess. And, a facet of the goddess as a whole that i could never get the hang of was talking reverently and being appropriately humble. But with Kali, your supposed to talk to her like your own mother. its sort of like a loophole for me. since all goddesses are one goddess, i'm stil praying to the goddess as a whole, but i get to confide and whine and wheedle as though she were my own mother. i take comfort in her bravery and protection. i feel safe knowing that mother Kali is always watching out for me.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Jack White is the new messiah

Bad news, kids. i've done it again. see, i have a problem with falling in love- i do it way too often, way too quickly. Now, i wouldn't say i'm in love with him yet, per se, but knowing me, i'd say its not too far off. Cold Mountain + Icky Thump video = heartsick me. Grr. I just got back into Lily Allen a couple days ago, like i really need this. I hated them back in the seven nation army days, cuz i hated that song like poison. see, i also am very quick to hate. i'm a complicated person like that. so, i turned myself off to them, until i saw the I T video on mtvU, which i sort of get illegally. now, damn. i'm screwed. of course, it doesn't help that he's a poet and a lyrical genius as hell. i love how obsessed he is with the number 3. and blues music. its so cute. ugh, okay now i'm gushing. bedtime, rambler.

Monday, June 11, 2007


Hey. I'm hot and General Hospitals almost on, so this'll be short, i promise. Ugh, one should not make hot chocolate in the middle of the day. hm. truth is, i don't really have much to say. I'm making lemon pie this tuesday, for the dinner my gram's having for my aunt bev and cousins Jen and Kel. i didn't want to, but my mum had one of her spontaneous parenting moments, ergo, i'm making pie. AARGGHH i cant type. i'll probably burn the damn house down. well, i better get started on making that yam if i want to eat soon. Bye.

Saturday, June 9, 2007

Good Feeling

I got my street team starter pack the other day! i can't be long, my mum's trying to sleep. not that she couldn't fall asleep during a nuclear attack. We went to the arts fest today-well. there was a kenny chesney concert (boo, he sucks!) going on today, so we were stuck in traffic for almost 3 hours total! actually, we spent 2 1/2 hours going one way, then we gave up and went to my grams, but she wasnt there (she's down visiting my aunt rene) so we regrouped and went back. then, when we finally got there, we realized my mom forgot her purse at my grams! luckily, i had 2 fives i was gonna use to buy something at the arts fest, or else we could'nt have gotten out of the parking garage! like there's actually anything for sale at the arts fest for under 25 bucks. the pricing there is just stupid. but you have to check out Jim Spillane's photography. It is just. I can't even begin to express how beautiful. he goes to third world countries and takes pics of the people. it is just. unbelievable. so yeah. um... but i spread a lot of my starter pack gear today! ten "kfc tortures animals" fliers, 5 "free veg kit" business cards, and i think 4 various stickers. happy happy joy joy! i felt so good. i just felt so...accomplished, you know? like i was doing something good. spreading the good word, man, does it get any better? Ha ha!

Monday, June 4, 2007

Family Tree ramble + the bellybutton lint in my brain.

I was supposed to post this about 4 this p.m.. But i forgot. I went donwstairs to start working on my peta stencil-i'm spraying a denim totebag with this really cool stencil that says meat=murder. by the time i finished, my mom had gotten home and we had to go to my grams cuz she had dinner there cuz my Aunt Dorie was there. She's good people. :) she says she's tickled with me. ;) she's my great great aunt. My great gram's sister. i like the girls in my family. at least the seasoned-of-years ones. :) My Aunt Rene, Aunt Dorie, Aunt Evvie, (she was my favorite) and Aunt Phyllis. I might be forgetting one, in which case oops. but there ya go. there's a picture of my great gram, my gram, and all her aunts sitting next to each other at a bar. It's so cute. My mom jokes that the only time my gram gets to hang out and drink is when she's with her aunts! My Aunt Rene loves wine. sh's probably my second favorite. Augh, my aunt (not really, the geneology's just too complicated) Syl just called my gram last week cuz her kidneys are failing. she has to go on weekly dialysis. and my Aunt (also not really) Tally just got diagnosed with breast cancer. she has to go for 33 days of chemo. Scary stuff. my aunt tally used to be one of my faves when i was younger. they're both my Pap Plummer's family. i don't actually know him. i've always wanted to have one of those grandfathers you call pap, so i call him pap. it's not like he can object. Aunt Syl is my Pap's brother's wife. so sort of my aunt. great aunt, i guess. and aunt tally is... lets see...hell, i dunno. our family is too big for my head. Wow, ramble much, Shay? Anyways. Yeah. My gram yeah, yeah, yeah-ed me when i told her about becoming vegan when i get a job. she was all, well you better bring your own food! I was kind of taken aback. i didn't think she'd just not believe me, letalone have that kind of hostile reaction. Well, she didn't think wicca would stick either. sometimes i kind of wonder if the person i'm going to be if i get my druthers is gonna be a dissapointment or the granddaughter she doesnt want. You know? i dont wanna be the weird, tree-hugging hippie chick granddaughter she feels weird around. Ah, dunno. Shamma shamma.
The house is back on the market. Gina's gonna come see it on wednes. we got 5 calls when it came out on the pennysaver last week, but most of them putzed. i worked for 2 solid hours today doing house-ready chores. it was fun, tho, being busy. having to decide what could and could not be done in the time i had rather than wondering what i'll do with the giant chasm of extra time i usually have. Ooh, i discovered a new blog today. the secret city. , i believe. the guy writes short stroies and stuff sometimes. i'd like to do that, write some short stories on here, or publish my poems on here. there a little personal (and pissy) for cyberspace. i don't know if i'd feel right. he also just talks, like this. but the man's got a way with words. oh, god. have i even mentioned chatham on here? dream school, heaven on earth. my school. i'm going there in the spring. go Chatham!! um...okay, that's all for now.

Saturday, June 2, 2007

Accidental Rant

Hey yall. My mouse Dusty is playing with me right now, crawling on my lap. I tried to get him to type some, but he was having none of it. he just sat there in his scared and stubborn pose. Its almost like he's thinking, "maybe if i stay very still, she'll forget aaaalllll abut me." a cross between that and "please don't make me please dont make me..." i put him on my head for a time out. I applied to Houlihan's at the mall, Red Lobster again, and Johnny Carino's. online. i'm really holding out hope for the Houlihan's job. It's dishwashing. Hell, it'll pay the bills. My mom's out tonite, going to the graduation party of my former arch-nemesis' brother, Narc Boy. His real name's Zach Jones, but he's a pudgy little asshole with no will or backbone of his own. If he wre a villain, his special power would be sniggering like an dungeons and dragons outcast asshole. He's not as bad as his brother, Brandon. Now there's a world class asshole. I fell in like with him in high school, the worst and most disgusting thing i have ever done, only because his mom, Sue, said he liked kids or whatever. i have no clue, that whole time is a guilt and bile-stained memory. So i liked him for like a week, and he found out at this New Years party. him, Narc boy and their friend Rocco formed this little "let's torment the girl who likes Brandon" club. One time, they even made a plan to strategically seat themselves on the schoolbus so that if i looked at Brandon, Zach would see and be able to snigger about it with him after. I caught Rocco commenting on my tight pants one day, saying, "I bet she learned that from Brandon." They laughed. I mean, how stupid can boys get? I mean, the kid never wore pants that werent 3 sizes to big for his dumb ass! Whatever. so if your reading this, maybe after a night spent at home jerking off and googling yourself, this is my personal fuck-you. oops, i didn't mean to go off like that. back on track. anyways, my mom sed she'd be home at 7, and while i naturally add on an hour to the time she says, it's 9 and she still isnt home. okay, well, scratch that, she's home. but it's 9:30! Well, i gotta go. just writing to say that i'm bored and there's nothing to do . but now there is. so bye.!

Thursday, May 31, 2007

Ooh! I almost forgot: part 2.

2 people called and want to see the house! were getting in cleaned up for this weekend! i'm so excited. i can't wait til were moved out! hello bus route, hello life! shameless plug- findlay township, pittsburgh, pa. 2 bedroom end unit townhouse, nice yard & deck. new carpet, wood floors, deck, and exterior paint. west A school dist. move right in! come see the house!!
I would like to direct your eyes to the time of day this was posted. no, that's not an error. its 7:30 a.m. in the middle of summer. i actually could not get any sleep last night. zero, zip, zilch, nada. My eyes would not stay closed for 60 consecutive seconds. i would love nothing more than to go back to bed, but i am wide caffeine-high awake. minus the messy chemicals. gaah! i toss and turn and move almost every 30 seconds when i'm in bed! i repeat, gaah! so now im faced with the problem of what to do for the next 3 1/2 hours til i can start my day. there just isn't that much to do with my day. i guess watch a movie. ugh. i wanna go to sleep! Maybe i'll youtube for awhile, that usually takes up an hour if i'm careful. and i wanna do some more dorm and insomnia research. well, goodnight. i mean good morning.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Ooh! i almost forgot!

I posted my peta love downtown today. i only had 10 minutes to do it, and i ran out of time and left most of the stack on a park bench, but i got it out there! i am soo excited! go me! go peta! my packs should arrive an 2 or 3 weeks. i wonder if putting stuff up in bathrooms and outside restaurants is legal. hm.

Welcome, Ladies and Gentlemen, to the day from hell.

I don't know if i took the wrong bus, or missed my stop or what, but i blinked on the way to town today and i'm at the airport. I had my walkman on (my mp3 is a bitch), so maybe that's the problem. i dunno. then, the hot barista i was telling you about? i made a fool out of myself. when i stood up to leave, he was like, thanks for coming in! and i said, "it's always a joy!" IT'S ALWAYS A JOY??? what the hell is that?? what was i thinking!?! who talks like that? so now Jeremy probably thinks i'm a complete loser. not to mention there was a puddle by one of these lightpoles where the plants were dripping water and i fell on my ass in one, so he probably thinks i peed myself or something horrendous like that. god, i've got to learn to speak! who says that, its always a joy?!? i mean, its always a joy?!? god, i kill myself sometimes. its always a joy. then, i had the worst session with Kathleen. the shrink. it was all about how i need to work on this and that, and how everything is moving so slow, and i'm mired in a marked lack of... anything. change, growth... its all moving right outside my window. and i'm stuck. uck. what a shitbag day. i feel like going to bed and just putting this day behind me. i just want it to be over!!! !!! !!! !!! that's what's going on in my head right now. I cant go to my fratellis concert, i hafta go to social d instead. these mosquito bites kill. jeremy thinks i'm the plague. hell, i think i'm the plague. Kath says i should thikn about what i shoud've done differently, instead of focusing ont he negative. um... i could've said, oh, yeah. i like it here. i could've...paid more attention onthe bus. i couldve asked gram for money so i didn't run out. There. strangely, i feel a little better. i'm still gong to bed. ;)

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Peta rules

Damn. Still no love from the workplaces. Damn. I'm not being fazed out by Jesse, tho. her computer broke. Summer, man. you long for it for months, and then once its here it gets so hot and its just like, pick a happy medium why dont you! aagh! it was soo hot today. It would help if maybe my routine varied. but no. Breakfast, Gilmore Girls, chores, tv, walk, internet, dinner, tv, bed. Every. Single.Day. I bot a vegan starter pack and a peta street team starter pack the onther day. sent for actually. i bot 3 vegan buttons. soo excited for them to get here. the street team thing has lots of pamphlets and leaflets and stickers and things. a printed out an assload on my dying printer today. I go downtown for an appt with my shrink, Kathleen, tomorrow, and i will post them up there then. Soo amped! cruelty to animals sucks! fur is evil! meat is murder! go peta!! woohooo! :D.

Friday, May 25, 2007

Hey, me again. still haven't heard back from Bob Evans, Ikea, or Kohls. i dropped off applications last Wednes, and while i didn't expect anything from the latter two, i'd hoped Bob's might've wanted me. damn. well, theres still a few days. To make matters worse, i think i'm being fazed out by my pen pal. i haven't heard from her in two weeks! usually, we pm each other a few times a week. dunno. i still have to think of something to say to jeremy, my hot barista. yes, i said my hot barista. we had a nice, uncharachteristically (wow that's hard to type) long conversation. i love the way his eyes crinkle up at the sides when he laughs. *sigh*. yum. Loser much. other than that, hows life? hgm. i get up, clean, listen to my fratellis cd, check my email, walk my dog... boring. i did do a little offering to the Goddess and God last night. just a little impromptu thing, i wanted to go get fresh air, and i was like, hey, why dont i say thanks? then, of of course, i realized we were out of bread and i had to use a bun. but i suppose it still counts. i got the idea from a druid offering ritual i saw on youtube a few days ago. for a while i've wanted to say thanks, but i just didn't know how. you know? i'm so thankful for getting into chatham, for having that be my destiny. for all the little things and big things that happen day to day that tell me that i'm being watched out for. I'm so grateful for having discovered wicca.
Ugh, my cute hater dog is asleep on my mom's good down pillow. haha. passions isn't on til 2, and i can't think of anything else to do. ah well. ciao. i'm gonna see if i can download some pics.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Greetings and Salutations

Hello! my name's Shay, I'm almost 21 years old. I go to Community College of Allegheny Country, Pittsburgh, PA, USA. I have been a wiccan for 7 years, which still seems weird to write cuz it seems like yesterday. Wiccans, just to clarify, do not worship the devil or any such nonsense. I am slightly of the druidic persusasion, and yes i really talk like that. i have a big vocabulary. :) I want to use this blog to vent about my life, and tell people about wicca and various things i think people should be informed about. Hopefully, i wont lose my password this time, and i'll be able to post more than once. which has happened twice before. Pathetic, i know. i'm going to Chatham College in the spring (yay me!). One more semester of ghetto-tastic community college to go. I dont mean to insult community-college-goers, but i can't stand it. the whole place reeks of declasse. Anyways. I'm blonde, my hair's dyed brownish but the color's kind of faded back to my original color. Which is kind of odd cuz it was permanent color. whatever. I have dark blue eyes, my best feature, and the only good thing besides my skinny-ness that i got from my dad. gr. long, unneccesary story there. I have social anxiety disorder, i stutter like the village idiot, i have all kinds of funky things that make my hormones out of wack, as well as a thyroid disorder where my thyroid isn't attatched to my brain. Unless you've had to take 4 pills a day for the past loooong while, you don't really know what a pain that is. My shoulders are kind of leaning forward cuz i'm missing muscles in my shoulders. Getting the sense that they didn't finish putting me together yet? :) I have a dog, a little brown doxen-mix named Kacey. Damn dog hates me. Gr. Just kidding, i love her. but she can't stand sitting near me. she wont be in the same room with me for more than a minute unless my mom is there. or i have food. I'm trying to train her to stop barking, but i feed her table scraps like she pays me. Or at least likes me. ;) I also have a little black mouse named Stardust, Dusty for short, and he is just the sweetest thing. he climbs up on the roof of his cage and swings around if you come near him or walk by his cage. He's a little acrobat. He once did a somersault from the roof of his cage one time! My mom doesn't like him cause his cage smells. And he, um, made a deposit on her bedroom floor once. Oops! I'm majoring in liberal arts, soon to be english. I want to be an editor, as in books. (Thanks again Jeremy if you're reading this :) ) I watch General Hospital, Grey's, Vegas, and this show on the Food Netword, Good Eats. I'm addicted. What else to i like? reading, im a book whore. I have a serious problem when it comes to skater boys and punks. Another serious addiction. I turn into a puddle when i see a guy carrying a skateboard or with tatoos and a hawk. its pathetic. there was this guy Andrew who was in my English Lit and Mythology class. The first time i saw him, he was sitting in such a way that all his hot arm work showed, and i almost licked him on the spot! Serious problemage. Kay, well, that's all for now. TMI, anyone?