Ignorant hurtful beligerent jackasses run in the family

dammit i dont understand why it is so damn hard for people to just accept the way i am instead of having to belittle it and rub it in my face that meat is there and that they dont care what happens to [poor defenseless animals. admittedly, i may push it too far from ktime to time, but i'm passionate about vegetarianism and animal cruelty, and theres no reason to use this information to hurt me. Telling nasty stories and laughing about the inhumane slaughter to defenseless animals right in front of me, knowing how i feel about this, and then laughing when i get upset is not something a normal person would do. letalone say nasty comments belittling how silly and stupid my beliefs are. i dont care if you don't share my beliefs, but the least you can do is pretend you don't think they're ridiculous and stupid and not even worth pretending they matter to anyone. i donnt want to be estranged from my family, but if they refuse to let me be happy by at least pretending they suport me, i'm going to have to. i will be happy, with them or without them. the decision is entirely up to them. Goddess i wish it didn't have to be this way.

new job, old quote, puppy love??

Not sure where i left of here last. its been a bit busy around here. got a job tuesday, yesterday was my first day. i clean silverware at this party rental place. its not bad. nicer boss, .50c more an hour. its kind of boring and monotonous. and i really need an ergonomic desk chair. my back kills. the bird...i told you about the bird, right? the flasklight rig failed, i buried it yesterday. bawled like a baby. *quote alert* a hungry angry baby. That's from serenity. I heart Mal and Jayne!! Haha.. Jayne's the peice of ass, Mal's the brains... any firefly-heads will get that. and be nodding in drool-covered empathy. ;) so... i'm 120 bucks richer, for cleaning a couple thousand pcs of flatware. i might not be able to post very often anymore. maybe on sundays. i'm sure my vast adoring audience is just crushed. ;) i think im neglecting my poor mouse. I feed him and all, but... i don't know. i feel bad. he is just the cutest little thing. I love him so much more than i let him know. you know? poor Kacey's conked out. i'm gonna go get me a little peice of puppy love. or, in my case, puppy groan-and-roll-away-unhappily. ah, c'est la vie.

Well, i always said i wanted a bird...

So last weekend, i found this ginormous birds nest in my grill. and like an idiot, i called my mom, who told me to open it, hoping the birds hadn't laid eggs. and, like an idiot, i did, after a few weak protests. Well, the birds never came back. i think it was a finch tho. so later the next day (we are huge procrastinators in this family) after my mom threatened to do it herself, which i knew whould result in careless destruction of a poor little finch's hard work (the nest was almost a foot long!!), i did it myself, and found, guess what, an egg. so cut to now, where in my room there is a bit of bird nest sitting on my desk with a little white, brown-speckled egg in it, with a bulb of my medusa lamp pointed down above it. i leave the lamp on all day, and i have a pathetic flashlight rigged up to a hook in my ceiling for when i have to turn off the lamp to sleep. I emailed some people i found online, and i'm gonna do a lot of spells to help give the por thing a chance a life. i looked up some websites on how to raise a baby bird. I just feel so awful!! its my fault this poor bird's parents never came back for it, and if it dies, its all on me! does anyone know how many hours 1,420 minutes is? that's how often it needs to be fed. it said that raw meat is best for hatchlings. i hope turkeyburger doesn't make the poor thing sick. agghh! but now, i guess all there is to do is wait 2 weeks until it hatches. and do a lot of spells. i'll report back on what i try. wish me luck! oh, that reminds me. i looked for, and found, a four leaf clover in my yard, which i put next to the egg in the nest. i made a point or deflecting the luck off me, putting all of it into the egg. Goddess, i hope it lives.

Mother Kali

Oy yoy. just got off the phone with my mum. my endocrenologist's assistant is about a million years old and has the memory of a amnesiac goldfish. she forgot to give us paperwork for bloodwork, and now she called and said, oh, did you get that bloodwork done? um, no. whatever. anyway. i was online a couple days ago and something about the goddess Kali stuck me, and i wrote it down to look it up later. yesterday, i loked her up, and you know when you come across something that just strikes the right chord in you right down to your soul? that's what she felt like to me. most people see Kali as this horrible, death-weilding merciless killer woman, but what they dont realize is all life is made possible through her. without Kali there to end life of things whos time has come, there would be no room for new growth, and change. both the psychic and physical worlds wouldd be drowning in the past if Kali werent there to make room for the new things. I think its also very unabashing, brave and noble to revel in the dark part of the process. it shows true knowledge. you may think she's evil, but without her, their would be no use for the fluffy, nice gods and godesses. That in and of itself makes her a good goddess. And, a facet of the goddess as a whole that i could never get the hang of was talking reverently and being appropriately humble. But with Kali, your supposed to talk to her like your own mother. its sort of like a loophole for me. since all goddesses are one goddess, i'm stil praying to the goddess as a whole, but i get to confide and whine and wheedle as though she were my own mother. i take comfort in her bravery and protection. i feel safe knowing that mother Kali is always watching out for me.

Jack White is the new messiah

Bad news, kids. i've done it again. see, i have a problem with falling in love- i do it way too often, way too quickly. Now, i wouldn't say i'm in love with him yet, per se, but knowing me, i'd say its not too far off. Cold Mountain + Icky Thump video = heartsick me. Grr. I just got back into Lily Allen a couple days ago, like i really need this. I hated them back in the seven nation army days, cuz i hated that song like poison. see, i also am very quick to hate. i'm a complicated person like that. so, i turned myself off to them, until i saw the I T video on mtvU, which i sort of get illegally. now, damn. i'm screwed. of course, it doesn't help that he's a poet and a lyrical genius and...hot as hell. i love how obsessed he is with the number 3. and blues music. its so cute. ugh, okay now i'm gushing. bedtime, rambler.

uninspired

Hey. I'm hot and General Hospitals almost on, so this'll be short, i promise. Ugh, one should not make hot chocolate in the middle of the day. hm. truth is, i don't really have much to say. I'm making lemon pie this tuesday, for the dinner my gram's having for my aunt bev and cousins Jen and Kel. i didn't want to, but my mum had one of her spontaneous parenting moments, ergo, i'm making pie. AARGGHH i cant type. i'll probably burn the damn house down. well, i better get started on making that yam if i want to eat soon. Bye.

Good Feeling

I got my street team starter pack the other day! i can't be long, my mum's trying to sleep. not that she couldn't fall asleep during a nuclear attack. We went to the arts fest today-well. there was a kenny chesney concert (boo, he sucks!) going on today, so we were stuck in traffic for almost 3 hours total! actually, we spent 2 1/2 hours going one way, then we gave up and went to my grams, but she wasnt there (she's down visiting my aunt rene) so we regrouped and went back. then, when we finally got there, we realized my mom forgot her purse at my grams! luckily, i had 2 fives i was gonna use to buy something at the arts fest, or else we could'nt have gotten out of the parking garage! like there's actually anything for sale at the arts fest for under 25 bucks. the pricing there is just stupid. but you have to check out Jim Spillane's photography. It is just. I can't even begin to express how beautiful. he goes to third world countries and takes pics of the people. it is just. unbelievable. so yeah. um... but i spread a lot of my starter pack gear today! ten "kfc tortures animals" fliers, 5 "free veg kit" business cards, and i think 4 various stickers. happy happy joy joy! i felt so good. i just felt so...accomplished, you know? like i was doing something good. spreading the good word, man, does it get any better? Ha ha!

Family Tree ramble + the bellybutton lint in my brain.

I was supposed to post this about 4 this p.m.. But i forgot. I went donwstairs to start working on my peta stencil-i'm spraying a denim totebag with this really cool stencil that says meat=murder. by the time i finished, my mom had gotten home and we had to go to my grams cuz she had dinner there cuz my Aunt Dorie was there. She's good people. :) she says she's tickled with me. ;) she's my great great aunt. My great gram's sister. i like the girls in my family. at least the seasoned-of-years ones. :) My Aunt Rene, Aunt Dorie, Aunt Evvie, (she was my favorite) and Aunt Phyllis. I might be forgetting one, in which case oops. but there ya go. there's a picture of my great gram, my gram, and all her aunts sitting next to each other at a bar. It's so cute. My mom jokes that the only time my gram gets to hang out and drink is when she's with her aunts! My Aunt Rene loves wine. sh's probably my second favorite. Augh, my aunt (not really, the geneology's just too complicated) Syl just called my gram last week cuz her kidneys are failing. she has to go on weekly dialysis. and my Aunt (also not really) Tally just got diagnosed with breast cancer. she has to go for 33 days of chemo. Scary stuff. my aunt tally used to be one of my faves when i was younger. they're both my Pap Plummer's family. i don't actually know him. i've always wanted to have one of those grandfathers you call pap, so i call him pap. it's not like he can object. Aunt Syl is my Pap's brother's wife. so sort of my aunt. great aunt, i guess. and aunt tally is... lets see...hell, i dunno. our family is too big for my head. Wow, ramble much, Shay? Anyways. Yeah. My gram yeah, yeah, yeah-ed me when i told her about becoming vegan when i get a job. she was all, well you better bring your own food! I was kind of taken aback. i didn't think she'd just not believe me, letalone have that kind of hostile reaction. Well, she didn't think wicca would stick either. sometimes i kind of wonder if the person i'm going to be if i get my druthers is gonna be a dissapointment or the granddaughter she doesnt want. You know? i dont wanna be the weird, tree-hugging hippie chick granddaughter she feels weird around. Ah, dunno. Shamma shamma.
The house is back on the market. Gina's gonna come see it on wednes. we got 5 calls when it came out on the pennysaver last week, but most of them putzed. i worked for 2 solid hours today doing house-ready chores. it was fun, tho, being busy. having to decide what could and could not be done in the time i had rather than wondering what i'll do with the giant chasm of extra time i usually have. Ooh, i discovered a new blog today. the secret city. secretcity.blogspot.com , i believe. the guy writes short stroies and stuff sometimes. i'd like to do that, write some short stories on here, or publish my poems on here. there a little personal (and pissy) for cyberspace. i don't know if i'd feel right. he also just talks, like this. but the man's got a way with words. oh, god. have i even mentioned chatham on here? dream school, heaven on earth. my school. i'm going there in the spring. go Chatham!! um...okay, that's all for now.

Accidental Rant

Hey yall. My mouse Dusty is playing with me right now, crawling on my lap. I tried to get him to type some, but he was having none of it. he just sat there in his scared and stubborn pose. Its almost like he's thinking, "maybe if i stay very still, she'll forget aaaalllll abut me." a cross between that and "please don't make me please dont make me..." i put him on my head for a time out. I applied to Houlihan's at the mall, Red Lobster again, and Johnny Carino's. online. i'm really holding out hope for the Houlihan's job. It's dishwashing. Hell, it'll pay the bills. My mom's out tonite, going to the graduation party of my former arch-nemesis' brother, Narc Boy. His real name's Zach Jones, but he's a pudgy little asshole with no will or backbone of his own. If he wre a villain, his special power would be sniggering like an dungeons and dragons outcast asshole. He's not as bad as his brother, Brandon. Now there's a world class asshole. I fell in like with him in high school, the worst and most disgusting thing i have ever done, only because his mom, Sue, said he liked kids or whatever. i have no clue, that whole time is a guilt and bile-stained memory. So i liked him for like a week, and he found out at this New Years party. him, Narc boy and their friend Rocco formed this little "let's torment the girl who likes Brandon" club. One time, they even made a plan to strategically seat themselves on the schoolbus so that if i looked at Brandon, Zach would see and be able to snigger about it with him after. I caught Rocco commenting on my tight pants one day, saying, "I bet she learned that from Brandon." They laughed. I mean, how stupid can boys get? I mean, the kid never wore pants that werent 3 sizes to big for his dumb ass! Whatever. so if your reading this, maybe after a night spent at home jerking off and googling yourself, this is my personal fuck-you. oops, i didn't mean to go off like that. back on track. anyways, my mom sed she'd be home at 7, and while i naturally add on an hour to the time she says, it's 9 and she still isnt home. okay, well, scratch that, she's home. but it's 9:30! Well, i gotta go. just writing to say that i'm bored and there's nothing to do . but now there is. so bye.!