Ignorant hurtful beligerent jackasses run in the family

dammit i dont understand why it is so damn hard for people to just accept the way i am instead of having to belittle it and rub it in my face that meat is there and that they dont care what happens to [poor defenseless animals. admittedly, i may push it too far from ktime to time, but i'm passionate about vegetarianism and animal cruelty, and theres no reason to use this information to hurt me. Telling nasty stories and laughing about the inhumane slaughter to defenseless animals right in front of me, knowing how i feel about this, and then laughing when i get upset is not something a normal person would do. letalone say nasty comments belittling how silly and stupid my beliefs are. i dont care if you don't share my beliefs, but the least you can do is pretend you don't think they're ridiculous and stupid and not even worth pretending they matter to anyone. i donnt want to be estranged from my family, but if they refuse to let me be happy by at least pretending they suport me, i'm going to have to. i will be happy, with them or without them. the decision is entirely up to them. Goddess i wish it didn't have to be this way.

new job, old quote, puppy love??

Not sure where i left of here last. its been a bit busy around here. got a job tuesday, yesterday was my first day. i clean silverware at this party rental place. its not bad. nicer boss, .50c more an hour. its kind of boring and monotonous. and i really need an ergonomic desk chair. my back kills. the bird...i told you about the bird, right? the flasklight rig failed, i buried it yesterday. bawled like a baby. *quote alert* a hungry angry baby. That's from serenity. I heart Mal and Jayne!! Haha.. Jayne's the peice of ass, Mal's the brains... any firefly-heads will get that. and be nodding in drool-covered empathy. ;) so... i'm 120 bucks richer, for cleaning a couple thousand pcs of flatware. i might not be able to post very often anymore. maybe on sundays. i'm sure my vast adoring audience is just crushed. ;) i think im neglecting my poor mouse. I feed him and all, but... i don't know. i feel bad. he is just the cutest little thing. I love him so much more than i let him know. you know? poor Kacey's conked out. i'm gonna go get me a little peice of puppy love. or, in my case, puppy groan-and-roll-away-unhappily. ah, c'est la vie.

Well, i always said i wanted a bird...

So last weekend, i found this ginormous birds nest in my grill. and like an idiot, i called my mom, who told me to open it, hoping the birds hadn't laid eggs. and, like an idiot, i did, after a few weak protests. Well, the birds never came back. i think it was a finch tho. so later the next day (we are huge procrastinators in this family) after my mom threatened to do it herself, which i knew whould result in careless destruction of a poor little finch's hard work (the nest was almost a foot long!!), i did it myself, and found, guess what, an egg. so cut to now, where in my room there is a bit of bird nest sitting on my desk with a little white, brown-speckled egg in it, with a bulb of my medusa lamp pointed down above it. i leave the lamp on all day, and i have a pathetic flashlight rigged up to a hook in my ceiling for when i have to turn off the lamp to sleep. I emailed some people i found online, and i'm gonna do a lot of spells to help give the por thing a chance a life. i looked up some websites on how to raise a baby bird. I just feel so awful!! its my fault this poor bird's parents never came back for it, and if it dies, its all on me! does anyone know how many hours 1,420 minutes is? that's how often it needs to be fed. it said that raw meat is best for hatchlings. i hope turkeyburger doesn't make the poor thing sick. agghh! but now, i guess all there is to do is wait 2 weeks until it hatches. and do a lot of spells. i'll report back on what i try. wish me luck! oh, that reminds me. i looked for, and found, a four leaf clover in my yard, which i put next to the egg in the nest. i made a point or deflecting the luck off me, putting all of it into the egg. Goddess, i hope it lives.

Mother Kali

Oy yoy. just got off the phone with my mum. my endocrenologist's assistant is about a million years old and has the memory of a amnesiac goldfish. she forgot to give us paperwork for bloodwork, and now she called and said, oh, did you get that bloodwork done? um, no. whatever. anyway. i was online a couple days ago and something about the goddess Kali stuck me, and i wrote it down to look it up later. yesterday, i loked her up, and you know when you come across something that just strikes the right chord in you right down to your soul? that's what she felt like to me. most people see Kali as this horrible, death-weilding merciless killer woman, but what they dont realize is all life is made possible through her. without Kali there to end life of things whos time has come, there would be no room for new growth, and change. both the psychic and physical worlds wouldd be drowning in the past if Kali werent there to make room for the new things. I think its also very unabashing, brave and noble to revel in the dark part of the process. it shows true knowledge. you may think she's evil, but without her, their would be no use for the fluffy, nice gods and godesses. That in and of itself makes her a good goddess. And, a facet of the goddess as a whole that i could never get the hang of was talking reverently and being appropriately humble. But with Kali, your supposed to talk to her like your own mother. its sort of like a loophole for me. since all goddesses are one goddess, i'm stil praying to the goddess as a whole, but i get to confide and whine and wheedle as though she were my own mother. i take comfort in her bravery and protection. i feel safe knowing that mother Kali is always watching out for me.

Jack White is the new messiah

Bad news, kids. i've done it again. see, i have a problem with falling in love- i do it way too often, way too quickly. Now, i wouldn't say i'm in love with him yet, per se, but knowing me, i'd say its not too far off. Cold Mountain + Icky Thump video = heartsick me. Grr. I just got back into Lily Allen a couple days ago, like i really need this. I hated them back in the seven nation army days, cuz i hated that song like poison. see, i also am very quick to hate. i'm a complicated person like that. so, i turned myself off to them, until i saw the I T video on mtvU, which i sort of get illegally. now, damn. i'm screwed. of course, it doesn't help that he's a poet and a lyrical genius and...hot as hell. i love how obsessed he is with the number 3. and blues music. its so cute. ugh, okay now i'm gushing. bedtime, rambler.

uninspired

Hey. I'm hot and General Hospitals almost on, so this'll be short, i promise. Ugh, one should not make hot chocolate in the middle of the day. hm. truth is, i don't really have much to say. I'm making lemon pie this tuesday, for the dinner my gram's having for my aunt bev and cousins Jen and Kel. i didn't want to, but my mum had one of her spontaneous parenting moments, ergo, i'm making pie. AARGGHH i cant type. i'll probably burn the damn house down. well, i better get started on making that yam if i want to eat soon. Bye.

Good Feeling

I got my street team starter pack the other day! i can't be long, my mum's trying to sleep. not that she couldn't fall asleep during a nuclear attack. We went to the arts fest today-well. there was a kenny chesney concert (boo, he sucks!) going on today, so we were stuck in traffic for almost 3 hours total! actually, we spent 2 1/2 hours going one way, then we gave up and went to my grams, but she wasnt there (she's down visiting my aunt rene) so we regrouped and went back. then, when we finally got there, we realized my mom forgot her purse at my grams! luckily, i had 2 fives i was gonna use to buy something at the arts fest, or else we could'nt have gotten out of the parking garage! like there's actually anything for sale at the arts fest for under 25 bucks. the pricing there is just stupid. but you have to check out Jim Spillane's photography. It is just. I can't even begin to express how beautiful. he goes to third world countries and takes pics of the people. it is just. unbelievable. so yeah. um... but i spread a lot of my starter pack gear today! ten "kfc tortures animals" fliers, 5 "free veg kit" business cards, and i think 4 various stickers. happy happy joy joy! i felt so good. i just felt so...accomplished, you know? like i was doing something good. spreading the good word, man, does it get any better? Ha ha!